reasons and things

I have good days and bad days.

On my good days, I think It is so good for me to blog! I am taking back my writing – I’m not giving in to the fear that I’m a horrible writer. I’m writing and publishing it and no matter who reads it, I’m writing with courage and joy and it’s so, so wonderful!

On my bad days, I think Why are you writing a blog? You’re years late to the game. You’re just writing here because you’re afraid of writing an essay and submitting it for publication, aren’t you? You’re scared! This blog is just an excuse – so that when people ask about your writing, you aren’t empty handed, you don’t have rejection slips to show them, you have this, your blog! This is a cop-out from doing anything real, anything that takes guts!

I keep trying to turn the bad days into good days by reminding myself of the encouraging thoughts.

The truth is – and truth is the ground upon which I can stand through any day – the truth is that this is a safe place. It’s a place where I can learn to enjoy writing again, because there’s no pressure. Nobody who has read and reviewed and loved or critiqued my writing is reading this, judging by the WordPress stats. And I love that.

I can write and publish and write and publish and if nobody ever knows, that doesn’t mean I’ve done nothing. I’ve written.

So that is why I am blogging. I want to show the negative voices of fear who’s boss. And maybe, one day, one of the writers I love will tell me, “Actually, this is good. You writing, you claiming back joy and just writing. Even the words are good.” A girl can dream.

On one hand, this blog doesn’t take a lot of courage. That’s important to me. I need this simple space to put the love of writing back into practice. But I want to write with courage too. So to you, reader, I’m making a promise. I will write and submit an essay, or poem, or story. Something. I’ll do some writing that takes guts and a tough skin. I need both sides of this craft; the safe, and the wild.

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